You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
