My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
