dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
