I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
