Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
