i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
