sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
