we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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