so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
