The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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