ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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