I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
