If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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