Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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