If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
