I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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