I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
