Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
