I hate your face
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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