Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
