our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
