I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
