I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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