That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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