I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
