The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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