At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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