You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
