remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
