I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
