you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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