..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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