Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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