glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
