All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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