Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She told me I should be a condom model.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
