we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
