This girl is more easily done than said...
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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