sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
