the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
