you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
