i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
