when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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