Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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