Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
