you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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