singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
