No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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