before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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