I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
