i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
