The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
